Author: Betty Owens

Christian writer of historical fiction and general fiction.

Love is a Battlefield

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens

Remember that eighties song, Love is a Battlefield? This post is not about that song. But it does describe a battle similar to the one in the song.

Love is difficult. To keep love alive and your heart pliable, you need to learn to forgive. Forgiveness is hard, but not impossible. You can practice forgiveness daily, just by reading your social media timelines. Remember to keep an attitude of forgiveness as you read!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about courageous forgiveness (you can read that post here). running-573762_1280Often, forgiveness requires great strength. Forgiveness also requires something else: endurance. It’s not a sprint, it’s a cross-country run. You need to think in terms of forever.

mule-893336_1280How do you achieve the forever forgiveness? Being stubborn really helps–take it from one who knows. But it can also work against you. Stubborn refusal to forgive someone holds them captive…in your mind, emotions, soul. In your heart of hearts.

Let them go.

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Come on, make my day!

You may feel you have every right to hold someone captive in your emotions. Their treatment of you was horrendous. He stole your innocence. She lied about you. Your father hit you. Your mother called you stupid. Therefore, you decide they will never hurt you again. Because you mean never to speak to them again, and if they even look your way–

Are you familiar with this kind of pain? The crying out? The anger?

When others meet the angry person you have become, they will want to turn around and run the other way. Can you blame them?

Not forgiving someone doesn’t always manifest as anger. Fear is another symptom of not releasing forgiveness. You may not want to leave your house, for fear of running into the person who hurt you or caused you pain. You may even consider changing churches, or leaving a job.

You’re on the run. And that’s not healthy, either.

In that post about courageous forgiveness, I talked about facing the hurt. Forgiving the perpetrator. Moving forward. Every time you remember the hurt, turn it around and say a prayer for the person who hurt you. This way, you’re taking ownership and retaining your freedom from the past.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.–John 8: 14-15 NIV

But you can’t do it alone. I have faith in God. I’m confident that when I pray, He listens. I’ve seen prayers work in my life. Sure, there were times when my prayers seemed to bounce off the ceiling. Everyone goes through that. It’s a time of testing. Persevere.

chain-218900_1280Why? It’s worth it, to gain the confidence that comes with freedom. And now, I can move beyond what happened to me so long ago. I can trust and love, not just because the one who hurt me is long dead, but because I made peace with what happened. I released that person from the memory of guilt that kept a part of me in chains.

When I truly forgave and overcame the memories, the chains loosed and fell away. My freedom was complete.

I still have memories that pop in for a visit now and then. I see something on television, or hear someone talking about a similar event, and I’m tempted to experience that pain chain-297842_1280again. The chains rattle, as though they’re ready to jump back into place. But I refuse. I whisper my thanks to God for His everlasting forgiveness and mercy. My heart is free.

I’ll end with this story of an ongoing situation in my life. Someone among my relations can’t stand me. The problem started a long time ago through no fault of mine. Though I’ve tried over and over, I can’t fix the situation. My apologies for whatever it was that happened (I truly don’t know) were not only not accepted, but publicly rejected. I’ve even received letters calling me ugly names.

I was tempted to be angry, and actually gave in to anger for a while. I mourned the relationship that this event blocked. The sorrow, the anger, the mourning–these can also be stepping stones along the way to healing. Like when someone dies. When I finally recognized that, I was able to face the pain and let it go.

I can now say that I have forgiven this one also. I still hate the circumstances and mourn the loss of relationship–that’s only natural–but I love this individual with all my heart. I pray whenever I think of them. I bless them and hope for the best in their life. Will I ever see this relationship healed?

Though I would love that, it really doesn’t matter.

I’m no longer bound by the dark, hateful unforgiving nature that presses in on the bad circumstances of life. Neither am I bound by the temptation to hold a person captive with that hate. You see, holding them captive keeps them in my thoughts far longer than letting go of the bad feelings.

Love is a daily, ongoing battle sometimes. The battle is for your soul.

James1-2_8 Rev

Caitlin Emfinger, Missionary Associate to Ecuador

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens2 Comments
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Caitlin Emfinger

I wanted to start this post by introducing myself. My name is Caitlin Emfinger, and I’m a Missionary Associate in Ecuador. I live in a small city called Sucúa. I work in a girl’s home named the Hope House, as well as among the Shuar communities. Every Sunday, I get to tell kids about Jesus and the Bible. Every week, I get to encourage and help teen girls grow closer to God.

My life is not the typical life of a 23-year-old.

This past year was my first year as a missionary. That’s still crazy to think about. I remember near the beginning of the year reading through Matthew, and this passage in chapter 8 stuck out to me:

18 When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he instructed his disciples to cross to the other side of the lake. 19 Then one of the teachers of religious law said to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” 20 But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.” 21 Another of his disciples said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.” 22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me now. Let the dead bury their own dead.

10382758_10205496515509169_8092237309379138912_nOh man. I had no idea how hard this was to live out. The cost of following Jesus is different for everyone, but you can be sure that it will cost you something. For me, that was leaving everything I ever knew to live in a different country to tell the people there about Jesus. When I left in December of 2014, I left the only place I had ever called home. It was the longest I had ever been away from my family. My whole life had been spent there. I left a place that was familiar. It was comfortable. It was safe. Life was easy. But God never called us to safe or comfortable, and He definitely didn’t call us to easy.

In verse 22, a man asked Jesus to let him bury his father before following Him. Jesus replied, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their dead.” When He calls us, we can’t let the things of this life keep us from following Him. Many times, that means leaving the things we care about most behind to follow Him. There is always something that can keep us from following. “But God, let me graduate college, let me get married, let me have a kid…” There is always an excuse, but we cannot let those excuses drive us away from the life He has waiting for us.

There are so many times we’re tempted to run from what He’s calling us to because of 11953385_10207404754293946_7597981721756961601_othe cost when we should be running to it. We tell God we would feel safer on this side of the ocean, or even this side of the street. Honestly, that isn’t the case. The safest place we can be is in His will, wherever that is. It’s scary sometimes (Okay, a lot of times) because He takes us places we would never go on our own. But He will never take you to a place just to leave you there. Ever.

I had to make a lot of sacrifices when I became a missionary. One of them is not being able to be in two places at once. I can’t count the things I’ve missed while being in Sucua-4one place or another. I’ve missed birthdays, I’ve missed graduations, weddings, babies… some of the simple everyday things that most people take for granted. I’ve missed my family, and not seeing them every day. I’ve missed the friendships that I had, many of which I’ve lost over time. But everything I’ve lost has been worth it to be right where He wants me.

We have to understand that following God will always mean sacrifice. That’s why He Sucua-2tells us to count the cost. There will always be things that you have to give up for His sake. But all the things we give up are nothing compared to the joy gained by following Him. There is a peace you can’t explain when you’re in the will of God. You get to see Him move in ways you never thought possible, and grow so much closer to Him. And He is always with you. So whether He’s asking you to move across the ocean or just talk to your neighbor, don’t let the dead things get in the way of following Him.

Sucua collage
If you would like to keep up with the work I do in Ecuador, you can follow me on Facebook.

Here’s a link to Caitlin’s latest newsletter – Into the Jungle

Cuenca Update

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens

11110509_10204170624365310_3489856107082246488_oRemember this checklist?

  1. Write first post for 2016.
  2. Complete book 2 of Kinsman Redeemer Series: Sutters Landing.
  3. Get passport photo.
  4. Get passport.
  5. Fly to Cuenca, Ecuador for mission trip that includes a speaking engagement.
  6. Did you see #5?
  7. Omgosh! I am actually going to Ecuador!

This was part of my first post for 2016. Can you tell I was excited?

It’s now the second week of March. We have barely four months left to prepare for our mission trip to Cuenca, Ecuador. I’m really starting to feel the excitement (mixed with a tiny bit of anxiety). Here’s an update on our progress:

  • Applied for Passports
  • Annabelle’s Ruth is being translated into Spanish

Okay, the list looks short, but it represents a lot of time and work. In the meantime, I’m familiarizing myself with the needs and interests of the women I’ll be speaking to in Cuenca. You know, looking at the photos, many of them look just like you and me. And their needs? Very similar to ours. So what’s the difference? Why do I need to go?

Step 1 – Calling. That’s a big thing. Has God called you to do something? What was your answer? Sometimes, we “feel” called, then nothing happens. Perhaps it didn’t happen because you didn’t go. If you’re looking for a job, do you sit at home waiting for a phone call? How will prospective employers know you’re looking, if you don’t let them know?

Step 2 – Prayer. Prayerfully consider, contemplate, meditate on the calling. This is an important step that should not be overlooked. When my son approached me about going to Ecuador, I was hesitant. But I promised to pray about it. My prayer was simple. “Show me Your way.” I kind of needed a sign. I got a big one. Our contact starting planning around my latest book, and formulated plans for me to speak. Was I ready for that? No, but I’ll get ready. God showed me His way and I’m stepping into it.

writing-923882_1920Step 3 – Make a Plan. Someone else made my plan, I didn’t have to. This happens to me a lot, but I’m okay with it. God knows me pretty well. If He left it up to me, well…it probably wouldn’t get done. I’m a champion procrastinator. Or at least I have been in the past. It’s something I constantly battle. But you may be on your own. So…

  • Make a plan.
  • Write it down.
  • Don’t be afraid to change or adjust the plan as you work toward the goal. Sometimes, your plans don’t fit the situation. Be flexible.

In the coming weeks, I’ll work to finish my preparations. The translation of Annabelle’s Ruth will continue. When it’s ready, we’ll print the books. The plan is to have that first printing fully paid, so we can use whatever funds the sale of the books bring in, for the women’s ministry in Ecuador. If you’d like to contribute to the first printing of the Spanish version of Annabelle’s Ruth, you can click the following link, and please reference “Annabelle’s Ruth” in the comments: https://giving.ag.org/Give/Details/600001-693941?MinistryName=unsion&Page

Ecuador-2If God touches your heart to do so, please pray for our team over the coming weeks, as we prepare for this journey. If you’d like to pledge your prayer support, please comment on our Facebook page. Click this link – Owens to Ecuador 2016.

If you’re not on Facebook, you can leave a comment on this post, or use the Contact Me tab above to send me an email. To help with the costs of this trip, you may contact me or visit our GoFundMe page. Any funds collected above the cost of our expenses will go directly into one of the wonderful ministries for women in Cuenca. I’ve supplied additional links below for your information about some of the ministries in Ecuador.

 

Couragious Forgiveness

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens4 Comments

background-1135051_1280Sometimes, it takes raw courage to forgive.

This is an ongoing theme in my life. Forgiving, even when it hurts (me). Looking back, I see a line of courageous forgivers. The Amish families who lost their children. Corrie Ten Boom. And further back in history, Stephen (early church deacon who was stoned to death for his faith).

The troubles of my past pale in comparison. But they still hurt. The human reaction for most of us is to hold on to them. To hate the one who hurt us. To punish the perpetrator through our ongoing hate.

Deep inside, I know that kind  of possessive unforgiveness hurts me more than anyone else. Those who committed the worst things that ever happened to me are dead now. They’ve met their fate, and they met it without my spoken forgiveness. I came to this knowledge too late. But I have now forgiven them. Their slate is clean with me.

flower-946502_1280Why does it matter? I no longer suffer under the weight of holding on to someone’s guilt. I’ve been spiritually healed of the pain inflicted on me, because of this passage of scripture… “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (John 8: 14-15 NIV)

Pay close attention to verse fifteen. It holds a devastating truth. Don’t overlook it.

Forgiving others sets you free. When I let go of the pain of my past, something died inside of me. But it was a good death. No longer would I be in its death grip. I am free of the pain. And those who caused that pain are in God’s hands. I am completely free.

Here’s another life-giving realization that came to me when I pondered my freedom: Unforgiveness is one of the strongest tools of the enemy. Satan uses unforgiveness–in your life–to steal your joy, your health, happiness, peace. He uses it to kill, and to destroy. With it, he destroys families…lives. Yours. Not the one who sinned against you.

death-1013386_1920I held my hurt and pain in a tight fist for so long, I couldn’t enjoy life. If anything in my life reminded me of what happened, I curled up in a fetal position (inside, if not physically) and felt dead. Others were hurt and confused by my attitude. Until the day I discovered these scriptures and decided it was time to let it go.

It wasn’t easy. Even after the initial spoken forgiveness, I was reminded throughout the day, every day, of what had been done to me. I’m not exaggerating. So I faced it with courage. I took every thought captive. When the thoughts came, they brought pain with them. I forgave all over again. I took a step further and replaced feelings of hurt and pain and hate with love. But not in my name. “Father, forgive me. Replace the hateful memories. Heal my heart and help me love.”

1-Passion FlowerYears have passed since that time. The hurtful thoughts came less and less. My heart gradually healed. Some babies are born with a hole in their heart. Most are healed naturally, as they grow. The hole closes. Their hearts are healthy. That’s what happened to me, but spiritually. The hole in my heart closed up. It’s sealed and strong. It took courage. I would like to take all the glory for that, but I can’t.

It was God’s love. I am so loved by God. “For God so loved the world, He gave his only Son…” As a believer, my faith has made me whole.

I share this so perhaps you can be whole also. If you suffer under the weight of unforgiveness, consider what I said in the paragraph above. How much joy have you allowed to pass by, so you could hold on to this pain? How much peace?

Take a chance. Be courageous. Forgive, that you might be forgiven.

New in Christian Suspense: Colorblind

On By Betty OwensIn Amy C. Blake, author, Betty Thomason Owens, Christian Fiction, devotional, fiction, Mantle Rock Publishing, suspense, Whitewashed, Writing

Today, I welcome my friend and fellow writer, Amy Blake, back to my blog for a reason that gives me extreme pleasure! The release of another of her books–Colorblind. I’ll let her tell you about it.

1a33b-blake2bfamily2b22b2I’m excited to share with you about the release of the second book in my On the Brink Christian suspense series, Colorblind. The first book in that series, Whitewashed, released last February. The series follows three homeschooled friends–Patience, Christy, and Natalie–as they step into adulthood. Since each book tells only one girl’s story, the books can be read in any order. You can buy Colorblind and Whitewashed in both e-book and paperback on Amazon. I hope you’ll pick up your copies today!

Here’s a little more about Colorblind:

FC---Colorblind---3rd-DraftEighteen-year-old Christy Kane has always been Daddy’s princess. But on the first day of her music internship at his mega-church, reporters shatter her world with terrible news: Daddy’s had an affair with the church preschool director. Christy feels as betrayed by God as the man she’s always considered Prince Charming.

When Mom sends her to Buckeye Lake to help with Aunt Jo’s School of Music and Dance in the restored Pier Ballroom, Christy’s problems only increase. First, the ballroom sits on Buckeye Lake, making her face her greatest fear—water. Second, she must help lead a handful of semi-talented volunteers, who harbor racial tensions and mysterious underlying antagonisms, in a professional quality performance for the Grand Reopening of the ballroom. The stakes are high—Aunt Jo will lose the place if they fail. Third, Christy discovers a diary written by Lillian, who lived near Buckeye Lake in the 1920s, and becomes intrigued by the stories of thousands coming to play at the amusement parks and dance in the ballrooms. But her interest soon turns to concern as tragic events from the diary happen in Christy’s world, ninety years to the date of their first occurrence.

Between her shattered past, her uncertain future, and her dangerous present, Christy doesn’t know where to turn. Does Daddy’s God really exist? If so, does He care enough to rescue her?

Award-winning author Amy C. Blake is a pastor’s wife and homeschooling mother of four. She has an M.A. in English from Mississippi College. and has written articles, devotionals, and short stories for a number of publications. You can connect with her on Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter. She’d love for you to visit her website at amycblake.com for tips on homeschooling, advice for the rookie pastor’s wife, and helps for the Christian life. You can also find more information on her website about her novels–Whitewashed, Colorblind, and The Trojan Horse Traitor.