The 21-Year-Old Spinster

I had given up. All of my closest friends, even my closest cousin, had married. I was all alone in the world, without a beau in sight. What a loser. I was bound for spinsterhood, and honestly, I was not surprised. But I was disappointed.

It’s okay, you can laugh. I’m shaking my head, too. Looking back, I see my twenty-one-year-old self for what I was. A child wearing adult-sized clothing. I had no idea what life held for me.

Hello, Thursday Morning! I’m waxing nostalgic again but this time, for good reason. Forty-five years ago this week, I met a young man named Bob, who would change all that. Before the year ended, we’d be married and settled into a friend’s garage apartment. We’d be considered “cool” by all our youth group friends, instead of dumb kids with very little change in our pockets.

We met on a blind date. It was a double-date, and I was with the other guy. The other guy was Bob’s best friend, Rick. I’d known Rick in high school, where we sat at the same table in Physical Science. I liked Rick because he laughed at everything.

So, we were Bob and Carol and Rick and Betty for a few hours. I guess I should backtrack just a little to tell you why I was on a blind date in the first place. I had moved to Tennessee with my parents when my insurance-sales manager dad was transferred to the Nashville office. I visited Louisville (our former home) often, since I had a lot of friends there. On this particular Labor Day Weekend, I brought my Tennessee friend, Carol Ann, with me.

We were scheduled to spend the holidays with one of my best friends, but her boyfriend came to town unexpectedly, so she quickly made plans for Bob and Rick to escort me and Carol so we wouldn’t be on our own. The venue was an outdoor concert at Iroquois Park. Bob stopped by my friend’s home during the afternoon to meet his “date,” Carol. [Side note: When he’d been offered a choice between a blonde and a brunette, he’d chosen the blonde. Of course, everyone knew blondes had more fun.]

valentine, valentine's dayHowever, when we met at the front door that afternoon, we both experienced something we would only recognize much later (years down the road) as a “sign.” Yes, Grasshopper, this is the one. Bob describes it as a bell ringing. I felt as though a light came on inside (kind of like an old-fashioned flashbulb popping). Cute, spooky, weird, you can say what you want about it, but we both swear it happened.

When the two friends arrived to pick us up for the date, there seemed to be an ongoing discussion between them that had started on their trip over and finally ended when Rick said, “I think we should leave it as is.”

We enjoyed the concert but throughout the evening, Bob kept leaning forward to talk to me. He seemed totally interested in everything I had to say. I suspected that the previous discussion between the two guys may have had something to do with the fact that Bob seemed more interested in the brunette than the blonde.

We met again on Sunday, since he and Rick attended the same church as my friend. Back at my friend’s home, she asked to speak to me in private. “Bob likes you and wants to know if you feel the same way.”

Well, honestly, I didn’t. I was flattered, but he didn’t seem to be my type. He had long hair, sideburns and a moustache. I couldn’t really see his face. He wore the shortest cutoff jeans I’d ever seen, and sneakers that could almost be called sandals for all the holes in them. And he was younger than me. But he did have a great personality and you know, there’s a lot to be said for that, and the fact that he was interested in me. That was hard to walk away from. Well, that and his broad shoulders.

I didn’t walk away, I drove away but I left him with my address, because he wanted to write to me. That’s the old school pre-texting way to communicate with someone who lived in another state. It was so far back, the phone calls were expensive, because you had to pay extra for long distance.

When that envelope arrived in my mailbox, the little thrill I felt in my heart confirmed what I already suspected: I liked him. I enjoyed his letters and the candid glimpse into his heart.

A month later, I made another trip to Louisville. While there, I interviewed for a job. I got the job, so I moved a couple weeks later.

In November, he proposed. We married on December 21. Yeah, it was quick. We were two dumb kids with very little money. He was still in college. But it stuck. Forty-five years later, I can’t imagine any other life or greater joy.

See you next week. Thanks so much for stopping by.

An Anniversary on Labor Day Weekend

Hello, Thursday morning readers—

Is there anything better than that first sip of that first cup of coffee of the day?

On this first Thursday in September, I thought I’d share a little something personal. We’ve just celebrated Labor Day, which is the Forty-Fourth anniversary of a first date.

It wasn’t a traditional date, however. I wasn’t actually with the guy I ended up married to. But we were on the same date.

I guess you might be wondering what I mean by that. Well, I was on a double-date. It was sort of a double blind date. Now I know for sure you’re wondering about it. 🙂

At the time, I was living in Columbia, Tennessee. I decided to visit a friend (Pam) in Louisville, Kentucky, and I thought it would be nice to invite one of my Tennessee friends (Carol) along for the ride. When Carol and I arrived, Pam told us she had a date on Saturday night, and hoped we wouldn’t mind. Being a kind and very attentive hostess, she couldn’t leave us unattended, so had been trying to set us up with dates of our own.

I was dubious, especially when I heard she’d only been able to secure a date for Carol. How humiliating was that? Pam explained that most of her friends my age were in college or seminary. Since it was a holiday weekend, they’d gone home to visit family. That was her story.

Her plan was for us to go to an outdoor concert at the Iroquois Park Amphitheater. It was a Christian event, and was supposed to be really good.

Carol was shy. Really, really, shy. So she didn’t care if we just hung out in our hotel room for the evening. But Pam was persistent. Once she decided on something, she was going to make it happen.

Mid-afternoon, Carol’s “date” rang the doorbell. Pam confessed to me that he wanted to “get a look at” her before going out. Hmm…

I accompanied Pam to the door, and as it opened, revealing Pam’s friend, Bob, something happened inside my heart. Something like a little bell ringing. No, I’m not kidding—it really happened. Well, either that, or an alarm went off somewhere in the house. I’m sticking with the “bell ringing in my heart” theory, though I didn’t really pay much attention at the time, other than to note it.

The guy at the door didn’t ring my bell. No way. His hair was too long, he had a mustache and “chops” (long sideburns for those unfamiliar with that term). Way too much hair, y’all.

Pam & Bob standing, Donna & Brenda seated. Not sure who the dog is.

I will admit, he had a nice smile and a great personality. We were soon joined by his best buddy, Rick. I knew Rick from school. We’d sat across the table from each other in Physical Science class, and spent a lot of time laughing. The class was taught by one of the school’s favorite teachers, who liked to take us on nature walks in spring. The smokers liked those nature walks, because they were allowed to smoke.

Back to the double-blind-date in process: I suggested we go out with Bob and Rick, and it not be a real date, just four friends going to a concert in the park. The plan was accepted, so Carol and I returned to our hotel room to get ready, and wait for our “non-dates” to pick us up.

When they arrived, Carol and I headed out, but there seemed to be some confusion at the car. Bob was in Rick’s face in some kind of low-voiced discussion. I heard a few words.

(Bob) “What do you think?”

(Rick) “I think we should leave it the way it was planned…wouldn’t be right…”

(Me) Hmm….

Bob opened the door for Carol, Rick opened a back door for me. So far, so good. We arrived at the park, the concert in progress. We sat, Bob and Carol, me and Rick. Bob kept leaning forward and talking to me in front of Carol. I thought it a bit odd.

The next day, Pam took me aside (actually took me into the bathroom and shut the door so no one would overhear). She told me Bob liked me. A lot. And wondered if I was interested.

Gee. He was younger than me. He had a lot of hair. He wore raggedy pants. And really, really short shorts. Actually, those were once blue jeans that had frayed back to almost nothing. The pockets were longer than the shorts. His tennis shoes had holes in them, too. I know, it was the seventies, and it was the style, but I had never really liked that look. Still better than droopy pants, though.

Before I left town, he asked if it would be all right if he wrote to me. I said why not. I think I actually did say that. I was a big believer in God’s perfect will and God’s perfect timing. If God was in a thing, it would come about.

The rest is history, as they say. Bob and I married on December 21st of that same year. Yes, I know that was only a few months later. It was crazy. But don’t ask if it was love. Bob will tell you one thing, I’ll tell you another. That’s because he’s a pragmatist, and I’m a romantic.

All I know, is we’re still a couple and pretty happy about it. And we’re still friends with Pam.