Here’s Looking at You, Mom

coffee, cup, laptop, memeHello, it’s another Thursday morning, but not only that, it’s only 2 more days till Mother’s Day. Are you ready for it?

As a daughter, a mom, and a grandma, I tend to look forward to the day. Growing up, I had many strong women in my life. Women who weren’t afraid to roll up their sleeves and get dirty. They wrestled livestock, plowed fields, chopped cotton, picked cotton, shucked corn, and canned their produce in 100-degree weather with no AC.

Friends, those were some stalwart individuals. They’re my heroines in life.

My mom is no less my heroine, though she wasn’t required to live off the land. She was a city girl, transplanted to the country. She didn’t much care for all that hard work, but she never shied away from it. We moved a lot. She counted about forty-two moves, in a recent conversation.

We usually lived in town, where she worked all day at a job, kept a clean house and three mostly well-behaved kids. I was thirteen when Dad finally found a job he liked, and could do well. He started as an insurance salesman and moved up to management. We were transferred from one city to another, because he was a good manager and could build up a lagging office like nobody’s business.

Mom adapted well. She would pretty much go anywhere for her man. He’d found her in Seattle, working the candy counter at a downtown movie theater. She was only seventeen, and he was nineteen when he talked her into marrying him. Still in the Navy, and about to head overseas to Japan, he took her home to his family. Mom ended up in West Tennessee with virtual strangers, waiting for his return.

That was either crazy stupid, or crazy in love. Either way, I’m glad she did it. The fact that she stayed with that man for so many years makes her a heroine in my book. I loved my Daddy. In fact, most everyone loved him. He was a true friend and a good ole boy. We all miss him like crazy.

Now, she shows her bravery in other ways. At eighty-four, she lives alone in a small apartment, an hour away from me, two hours away from big brother, but just a few minutes away from her baby boy, who takes good care of her. She keeps her little space clean as a whistle. Her favorite pastime is reading, and she reads a lot. She says it keeps her mind healthy.

She doesn’t get out a lot, as she’s very hard of hearing, even with a hearing aid. But this woman stays in pretty constant touch with several of her friends from childhood and a couple of family members. She sends out birthday cards and encouraging letters to some who are unable to leave their homes. And they love her letters.

My birthday cards come with lines added beneath the really meaningful parts, along with a few exclamation points. There was a time when this introverted woman never touched me, never told me that she loved me, but I always knew she was there for me. We didn’t always get along, but then I moved out, and we became the best of friends.

Since Dad died, she never lets an opportunity pass to tell me she loves me, or gather me in a bony hug (she’s quite thin). And this is how she is with everyone.

So, Happy Mothers Day, not only to my mom, but to all of you who are reading this, whether you have children of your body, or children of your heart.

And if your mom is still around, don’t forget to call and tell her you love her.

Happy Derby Week!

Hello, Thursday Morning friends! Pour another cup and join me.

It’s Derby Week in my neck o’ the woods. Our town is in celebration mode. We have all kinds of cool activities that kick off with Thunder Over Louisville (an all day event that ends with a gigantic award-winning fireworks show).

Click this link to see some stunning pictures and a vast array of activities in our “unique” city of Louisville: https://www.gotolouisville.com/

It’s so much more than a two-minute horse race.

Do I attend any of these events? Seldom. Why? I’m not a “crowd” person, and the crowds are sizable. I have gone to Churchill Downs several times, but never on “the” race day. I love looking at the beautiful horses, so I still enjoyed the daily races.

No, on Derby Day you’ll find me at home. If the weather’s good, I’m working in my yard. At the end of the day, I watch the race on television. Many times, we’ve watched at one of our favorite restaurants. That’s actually fun, because the other patrons really get into the race. There’s a lot of shouting going on. This is when it becomes obvious–Louisville’s a little different.

I love its quirkiness. It’s a beautiful river city with a rich history. Yes, we’re known for bourbon and horses, but it’s a lot more than that.

So, I’m wishing my fellow Louisvillians a happy Derby weekend. May the best horse win.

By the way, I pronounce it Loo-uh-vull.

Dear to My Heart

coffee, cup, laptop, memeGood morning—it’s Thursday! I hope you’re enjoying a bit of springtime weather if you’re in the northern hemisphere.

Today, I’m contemplating a question: How can you love someone you’ve never seen? Believe in someone you’ve never known?

It happens more often than you might think. Even now, in our modern, gadget-filled, instant news days. In former days, people wrote letters. Lonely hearts out west wrote to ladies back east. Sometimes they fell in love with one another through those letters and they agreed to meet. Sometimes, sight-unseen, they agreed to marry.

Soldiers received letters from girls back home. Girls they’d never seen, or maybe only in pictures. How did they know the pictures were real? How could they trust that the letters were truthful? Yet, some did. Relationships began, marriages happened. Love found a way.

For some of us, it’s mind-boggling. It would involve shutting off a part of our brain in order to accept such a thing. Only a desperate person would try something like that. Well, the world is full of desperate souls. Sometimes, love finds a way.

Consider Patricia MacLachlan’s Sarah, Plain and Tall, that tells the story of a woman who answers an ad for a wife and mother. She left her home in Maine and traveled to the prairie to meet the man she only knew through letters. Words on paper. I know, it’s fiction. But how many times in history did this actually happen? Could a person find love and purpose in such a way?

Farther back, in one of my favorite Bible stories, Abraham sent his servant back to their original home, to find a suitable wife for his son, Isaac. The servant prayed in advance that he would find the right woman, the one God had chosen for Isaac. He prayed that the woman would offer him water, and also, water his camels.

Rebekah appeared. Many of you know this story, so you can easily finish it. She was very young, and of course, beautiful. Her kind heart made her attentive to the servant’s needs. She also offered to water his camels, thus fulfilling the servant’s prayers. He knew this was the one.

She had never seen Isaac, and there were no photographs or portraits in that day. She agreed to leave her family and go to a stranger. Sight unseen.

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. [Genesis 24:62-67 NIV]

How can someone do that? What if he’d been hideous, dangerous, or worse—boring? It involves trust. How many of those who wrote to strangers and fell in love through letters, agreed to meet, then returned home again, disappointed? I imagine that happened, too. A sweet romance I once read happened just that way, but the lady never made it home. On the way to the train station, she met another stranger and decided to stay for a while. She soon realized he was the reason she’d answered that lonely hearts ad, written all those letters, and made that long journey.

Some are spurred by loneliness and desperation to do what others might think is foolish. They’ll cast aside common sense, or whatever it takes to go and find someone. I know many of you have beautiful stories in your life, of how you met your spouse. Maybe you know of someone in your family who took a chance, did something that may seem foolish, could have been drastic, but found the love of their life.

Disclaimer: In today’s world, meeting someone over the internet is extremely unsafe. Please don’t risk your safety!

If you have one of those beautiful stories, I hope you’ll share it with our readers. Leave it in the comments below.

I’ll leave you with another of my favorite Bible passages, about a sight-unseen love, dear to my heart. I hope you know this one, and if not, I hope you’ll take a chance and trust in someone you’ve never seen.

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. [1 Peter 8-9 NIV]

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Stay Out of the Attic, Batgirl

coffee, cup, laptop, memeHello, Thursday Morning readers! I’m so excited about spring. But thinking about spring led to thoughts about summer, which led to dread over the inevitable bugs and mosquitoes. Then I remembered seeing bats flying one evening last year.

Creepy? Maybe, but I’m a big fan of bats. In fact—

You may not know this, but I am actually Batgirl. Or at least I was. It was eighth grade, and my schoolmates found out my initials were B.A.T. Batman was a popular TV show at the time (the campy one with Adam West and Burt Ward. It was inevitable. When my classmates realized I was embarrassed, the funny joke became merciless teasing. Every day.

Every. Day.

I soon learned to take it in stride. Made the best of it. Laughed it off. I had an older brother, so I had learned to endure ruthless teasing. He was a world champion at it.

And I was always the new kid. Eleven different schools in twelve years. Yes, eleven.  My dad wasn’t in the service, he was just restless. Other side of the fence, greener grass. You know the story. If not, just ask these cows, they know the struggle well.

So, Batgirl was my claim to fame. Even though those kids were teasing me, for a brief interval, I felt as though I belonged. You see, I secretly longed for attention.

So, I understand when kids go through things, and I know what I’m talking about when I say, pay attention to your children. Listen to them. Encourage them. Be positive. Learn the signs of things like depression, low self esteem, and bullying.

I was a smart kid, but I didn’t know it. Both my parents were products of single-parent homes. Mom’s dad flew the coop. After the divorce, her mother worked long hours as a nurse. My dad’s father was killed when Dad was only two. His mother worked hard just to feed and house her four children. Still, they grew up in poverty. My dad never had a dad.

So, my parents didn’t really know how to give us positive encouragement. They were often too tired from working to care. I don’t fault them, because I know how hard it was. My introverted personality chaffed against all the moving around. Constantly changing schools, having to start all over building friendships, left me scarred. That, and other negatives in my life as a child. I’m not making excuses, just telling the truth. I know how hard it is.

Let’s  talk grades. My attic was in good shape, I had the ability, but I had no encouragement to achieve. If I didn’t know how to do something, if I hadn’t understood the directions, I often left it undone, so homework wasn’t always finished. As a result, my report cards were mediocre at best.

By my senior year in high school, I had found a niche in business courses. My grade average improved to the point where I was no longer totally humiliated. If only I’d done this earlier.

Another thing happened that year. My family started going to church. I followed, and my life changed. Faith strengthened me. I had a greater sense of self-worth and a smile that wouldn’t quit. Take that, Batgirl. I came out of my shell. I had a purpose and a hope for the future.

Bats have a purpose, too. I’m a fan of bats, mainly because they eat mosquitoes. Yes, they can also carry rabies, but so can most of those other critters that inhabit my yard at night. I’m content to see them flitting about the dusky evening sky around my home.

The greatest gift you can give your children is your time. I know that sounds trite, but it’s true. They need to hear things like, “you can do anything you set out to do,” “you’re beautiful,” “you’re important to me.” And not just words, but show them through your actions. Dare I say it? Put your phone down. You can look at that when the children are otherwise occupied. You’ll only have them in your nest for a few years. Make those moments count.


I have an author page on Facebook. If you’d like to keep up with me there (when I remember to post on it) please stop in and “like” the page. I’m careful not to overload it with advertising. And I do occasionally offer free things on there, like books and unwanted advice. Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/betty.owens.author/

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A Sensitive Nature

coffee, cup, laptop, memeHello, it’s Thursday morning again! Where I live, warmer weather is trying to displace the frigid remains of winter. I have a feeling we’ll go straight to hot weather, with very little spring.

I was reading an article about how dogs sense things humans can’t. Of course, their excellent hearing helps, and the fact they can smell a cookie from one end of the house to another. But they also pick up on things like earthquakes, approaching storms, and of course, the occasional house fire. dog, rhodesian-ridgeback-2727035_1280

They also alert you to critters passing in the night, which can sometimes be annoying. Reading this article reminded me of a family trait of ours. They said Grandma had a sensitive nature. She seemed to know when something wasn’t right with one of her kids. Apparently, she passed that down to me.

The first time (that I remember) happened when I was nine or ten. My brothers and I were spending the weekend at Grandma’s, or maybe it was spring break. I had an odd feeling, like something bad was going to happen. While helping Grandma with the dishes, I mentioned it.

“Can you know when something bad is gonna happen?”

She didn’t say much, but I could see she was thinking about it. “Sometimes the Lord prompts us to pray.”

Before we’d finished the dishes, a car pulled into the driveway. It was Uncle Bud. He had bad news. My dad had been in a car accident and ended up in the hospital. He would be all right, but Uncle Bud had come to take us home.

I never forgot that feeling. I’ve had it many times over the years. I grew up, married, and gave birth to three sons. We were living on a couple of acres. My three guys were five, three, and two. There was an old pond in the woods next to our back lot. The pond had been let go and was covered with scum. I fretted over it, afraid my boys would wander over there.

Three nights in a row, I had a bad dream. The dream always ended the same way. I couldn’t find the boys, and was frantically looking for them. Then I saw four little bodies floating face down on the pond. I’d wake up, heart racing, and terrified. I kept the boys close, never letting them out of my sight.

After a death in the extended family, my parents attended the funeral. My mother called from there to tell me my cousin’s little boy had drowned in a neighbor’s pool. They’d been able to resuscitate him, but he was in a coma. I immediately thought of the dream. There had been four little boys in the pond. My little cousin was the same age as my middle son.

This has continued through the years. I’ve had a bad feeling, or an intuition that something wasn’t right. Sometimes, I found out what it was, and other times, I never knew. I remembered what Grandma said, “Sometimes, the Lord prompts us to pray.” I used these as unctions to pray for whoever may be in harm’s way.

I’m not always forewarned, but it happens enough to make me think I inherited Grandma’s sensitive nature.

I used this natural wonder in my fantasy-fiction “Jael of Rogan” series. Jael had a much stronger ability to sense when something was coming. Her abilities included greater visual acuity, and she could hear sounds from miles away—a helpful gift when you live all alone in the wilderness and have a strong and wily enemy. For more information on the books, you can click the “books” tab above.

Have you ever experienced anything like this, or known someone who has? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

Thanks so much for the gift of your time today!