Focus on the Positive

On By Betty OwensIn apartment, beautiful things, elegance, elements, focus, Happiness, John 3:16, Mexico, positive, potential, quilt

When you’re gazing at your reflection in the mirror, it’s not always easy to focus on the positive, especially if it’s a full-length mirror. Even some of the most beautiful people observe themselves with a critical eye. Instead of the outer beauty we see, they notice the tiny wrinkles and blemishes they possess. Once considered a natural part of life, wrinkles, lumps, and rolls are now devastating. 
Old age is a time of reflection. We look back on our lives and wonder if we’ve achieved our fullest potential. Sometimes, we’re not happy with our own assessment.
The other day, I witnessed someone’s realization that her situation is not as bad as she thought. She’d been focusing on the negative elements of her life and truly, her life is not easy. Elderly and living on a stipend, sometimes she gets discouraged. An opportunity came for her to visit a friend in similar financial circumstances. The friend’s small apartment is tastefully decorated. There are many beautiful trinkets and collections on display. Her walls are decorated with family photos, awards, events, paintings, etc.  
My friend came away with a long face. When I asked why she seemed down, her confession surprised me. Her apartment looked shabby in comparison to her friend’s. After arriving home, she looked around and realized that while her things were not as many or as elegant, they were hers. Most of the things express her personality. Many were gifts from family and friends. Souvenirs from her cross-country trips, along with several jaunts to Mexico, adorn her walls and shelves. 
Most precious to her is the colorful hand-quilted spread on her bed and the last photograph taken of her late husband. A beautiful teapot collection adorns her kitchen and a handmade plaque, a gift from a beloved sister-in-law, depicts John 3:16, For God so loved the world…”
She called me a few days later and told me how she had come to realize her gifts were different from those of her friend. Her apartment is her home. She’s surrounded not by elegance, but by comfort. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and what she saw surprised her. She caught a glimpse of her twenty-year-old self and she felt happy. “I have much to be thankful for,” she told me. “I have my health, a wonderful family, and faith in God.”
I heard a new confidence in her voice I’d never detected before. I looked in my inner mirror and tried to focus on the positive elements of my life. I was almost immediately flooded with an overall feeling of contentment. I have a long way to go in some areas, but I can see that I’m on the right path.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. Happy Spring!


Jim’s Story

On By Betty OwensIn Campaign, donations, Facebook, Leukemia, LLS, Lymphoma, MWOY

This week’s post is a little bit different. Linda Hillenbrand, a very dear friend of mine,  has been nominated for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Man and Woman of the Year Campaign. She has given me permission to reprint this letter.

Linda with her husband Jim at U of L game
To My Friends and Family,

I hope you don’t mind me writing you about a cause VERY close to my heart.
My dear husband Jim has had a rare form of Leukemia for several years and has undergone maintenance treatment to keep that at bay. In early 2010, he had what an allergist, neurologist and Internist thought was simply allergies or a lazy eye. Luckily, we had a scheduled 6 month check up with his wonderful oncologist, Dr. Mike Kommor, who took one look at his eye when he walked in the room and noticed something was very wrong. After an MRI, PET scan, CT scan and a very painful surgical biopsy of the eye, he was diagnosed with a form of MALT Lymphoma of the orbital tissue.
The next two years became a battle for life with a variety of treatments, second opinions at the request of our doctor with a Neurooncologist at Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center and a multitude of different treatments. Through it all, he was noted for his amazing smile. Finally in December of 2012 he was considered in a sort of remission. It is something he will always battle but the prognosis is good.
Jim was privileged to have great insurance and to respond positively to the series of chemo treatments that are only available today thanks to the research funding of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It was amazing to learn that LLS is the #2 source of funding, next to the government, for blood cancer research. Many of the drugs funded by LLS are being used today as a treatment for breast, lung, and other cancers.
Because of this, I am honored to be nominated as one of 14 candidates in Louisville for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Man and Woman of the Year Campaign. Our team is being called “Blood, Sweat and CHEERS” Our national campaign kicks off on March 28th (my precious Mom’s birthday) and runs through June 7th. We also honor our dear friend Meghan Steinberg who we have come to know and love during her journey, as well as Janice Goodman and Ray Pfeiffer’s wonderful grandson. All fighters and survivors!!
Now comes the question…………………how can you help?? In many ways!!! We will be hosting several events during this time, putting collection jars in local businesses, partnering with restaurants for charity nights, and collecting auction items. You can donate your time, send an email, buy tickets to the gala, send a donation, or just tell a friend that is going through cancer about the Leukemia and Lymphoma society!!

Join our team “Blood Sweat and Cheers”

Mar 29, 2013
by Linda Hillenbrand
We are excited to begin our fight for a cure with “Blood, Sweat and Cheers” 

Originally posted to MWOY.org Reprinted by permission from the author. For more information on the Man and Woman of the Year Campaign, please visit their website. If you are on facebook, you can help by liking Linda’s Facebook group, Blood, Sweat & Cheers. 

Here’s an excerpt from her facebook page.

A very important point…Donations are wonderful and appreciated, but I know not everyone is in a position to help or has a cause of their own. You can help just by emailing anyone you know who has had Leukemia or Lymphoma or any other cancer that has been touched by the research of LLS and giving them the link or an invite to the group. Ideas, thoughts, stories, replies are as important as well!!!

Every Cotton-Picking Day

On By Betty OwensIn children, Cotton, People, Southern, tenant farmers, Tennessee

Why is there a picture of people picking cotton on my blogpost?

My current work-in-progress is set in the rural south. One of the hardest jobs I have ever done (with the possible exception of giving birth) is picking cotton. Yes, I am old enough to have picked cotton.

My grandparents were tenant farmers and their main crop was cotton. Even as late as the mid-60’s, they were hand-picking the crop. They usually hired locals to help them. The days were long and hot, and the work was back-breaking.

If you’ve seen Places in the Heart (Sally Field)  or even Gone With the Wind, you have an idea what I’m talking about. The only thing worse was chopping the cotton earlier in the season. Same deal: long hours, hot, pesky insects, dirt in your shoes…


I’m not complaining, it was good for me. You know, what doesn’t kill you…right. How did they survive such a difficult life? The work was hard and constant, but they didn’t give up. Year after year, they planted the cotton. It is beautiful in full bloom, by the way. And the sound of the wind through the leaves is so peaceful. The green plants made a wonderful playground for energetic children. I spent many happy hours there.

I’m enjoying writing this book, because it is so close to my heart. I feel I know the characters. Many of them sprang from memories of long ago. People who passed through my life during the sunny days of my youth. I hope the end product will be something you’ll want to read. I hope you’ll love them as much as I do.

Thanks for reading!

Competition vs. Whatever

On By Betty OwensIn Competition, race, Writing

My sons gulped down their food so fast, I barely had time to sit down before they’d finished. With them, everything was a competition. Who finished first? I don’t remember, because it wasn’t important.

This went on in every phase of their lives. To this day, as grown men, they still feel compelled to compete. Yet, in most ways, all three are completely different. 
Competition definitely holds a place in most every walk of life. It pushes you forward to achieve more, run faster, think better, gain more stuff, lose more weight, etc. I could go on and on. The competitive person is never satisfied. Tell them “no,” or rate them second-best, and they’ll rush to prove you wrong.
On the other hand, the “whatever” person could care less (so they say) whether they finish a race. It’s too much work. They didn’t get a promotion, but it would’ve been too much stress anyway. Shrug a shoulder and say, “Whatever.”
There’s an overabundance of competition and rivalry everywhere you turn these days, and at times it’s so tempting to say “whatever,” sit in your chair and dose off. 
But the painter paints, the composer composes, the singer sings, the writer writes. No matter how big the challenge, and believe me, the competition’s heavy right now. In the face of so much opposition, we 
keep plugging away, day after day. Hope rises and sets like the sun. One day we’re inching forward, the next, we’re flat on our faces, humiliated and spent.
I can’t really say where I am in that race, I’ve completely lost sight of my opponents. Are they so far ahead of me? Should I just give up? No matter how much I’d love to, I can’t. What if I can’t see my fellows because they’re that far behind me?
Whatever I accomplish in this world, whether good or bad, even if no one remembers my name, I know one thing for certain and it is this: I tried. I ran. I wrote. 
Thanks for reading. See you out there!

I hear you fine, I just can’t understand…

On By Betty OwensIn ebooks, hearing, Kindle, letter, phone, Writing2 Comments

It’s possible no one will ever read this. I am happy to say, it doesn’t matter. I am going to write even if no one reads what I write. 

If you’re a writer and you want to guarantee someone reads what you write, then write letters to loved ones. I still have a few family members who don’t have computers. They love getting letters, especially handwritten ones. They read mine, then they send me an answer. Instead of seconds or minutes, the whole process takes a week or two at a combined cost of nearly a dollar. 
I could just pick up the phone and call them, but I have trouble hearing on the phone and some of them have the same problem. Our conversations tend toward hilarity. “I hear you fine, I just can’t understand what you’re saying…” 

And in the end, I find I must write a letter to be sure they understood what I told them on the phone. So it saves time, if not money, to write a letter.
One dear friend who calls me a youngster was wondering when I’d publish another book. I told her I have an ebook in progress. “You should get a Kindle reader, I think you’d like it,” I said.
“I’ve seen those for sale,” she said. “I don’t reckon I could figure out how to use it.”
“Oh it’s easy to use,” I told her. “You could get your son to set it up and after that, it’s a breeze.”
“Yeah, well, it’d just be another thing I’d have to remember where I set it. Then I’d spend half the day looking for it, and another half of the day trying to remember what I was looking for.”
I couldn’t argue with that. 

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I’ll try to do better here on out. Hope you’re having a wonderful day. 
Thanks for stopping by!