Tag: prayer

To the Woman in the Prayer Room

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens5 Comments
Jennifer Hallmark, Linda Yezak, and me at ACFW
Jennifer Hallmark, Linda Yezak, and me at ACFW

While attending the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) conference three weeks ago, my heart was heavy. My husband was ill at home and I felt some anxiety over that. ACFW always provides a prayer room, so I found it and entered. My good friend, Linda Yezak was the volunteer in charge at the moment. I didn’t bother her, but crossed the room and found a seat. I just wanted to spend some time in prayer. There was only one other person there–a woman, unfamiliar to me.

As soon as I sat down, I was surrounded by a tangible peace and something else–a sweet spirit–that’s the only way I can describe it. I sat there, barely able to pray, just absorbing the atmosphere. It was precious. I felt loved and lifted up. After a few minutes, the other woman got up and walked out of the room. Though the peaceful atmosphere remained, that sweetness left with her.

I don’t know who she was. I never saw her again.

But I’m grateful. That feeling sustained me and I remembered it often over the next few days.

In last week’s blog post, I hinted that something unexpected had occurred in my life, and interrupted my regular blog schedule. I’d completely missed a week. When I returned home from ACFW on Sunday afternoon, I found that my husband had not improved. He’d grown worse. He was shaking in hard chills and struggling to breathe. I wanted to take him to the emergency room right away. He wouldn’t go. He wanted to wait until morning and go to his doctor. He’d been to the doctor the previous week and had tests run.

A little backstory– he’d been sick on and off for over a year and had lost a significant amount of weight. But the doctor had not been able to find the cause. No one had. Early Monday morning, his doctor called and ordered him to go to the hospital. My husband was in acute renal failure.

In the hospital, after the crisis
In the hospital, after the crisis

Unexpected. We were in shock. This had to be a mistake. How could something like that happen? He was admitted and rushed through numerous diagnostic procedures that revealed blockages in both kidneys. Without an emergency dialysis treatment, he was hours from death. I was devastated. I’d seen my dad go through kidney failure–years of weekly dialysis–and a kidney transplant that succeeded until he died suddenly of a blood clot in his lung. I didn’t want my husband to have to go through that.

I prayed. I called on all my friends and family to pray. And often, throughout the next few hours, I remembered that sweet presence in the ACFW prayer room.

I meditated on it as I sat at my husband’s hospital bedside while his blood ran through the dialysis machine. I was consumed by peace. I laugh now, remembering myself sitting there eating a veggie sandwich from Jimmy John’s while my husband endured the procedure. Okay, I was really hungry, but I had an assurance that everything was going to be all right. He was sleeping, by the way.

We had no idea what the future held. Would he have to continue receiving dialysis? Were his kidneys permanently damaged? These fears danced through our minds on and off over the next couple of days, as prayers rose on our behalf, throughout our sphere of influence.

A lighter moment - sharing a meal in Cuenca, Ecuador this summer.
A lighter moment – sharing a meal in Cuenca, Ecuador earlier this summer.

God answered. The unexpected thing brought to light a problem my husband had had over the last couple of years. Kidney stones. They’d almost completely blocked his kidneys. This was making him very sick, as toxins filled his body. Once this issue was addressed, he began to recover. Rapidly. He still has to go through some things, but he’s getting stronger every day.

And he won’t need additional dialysis.

Yes, we were shocked by the initial news, but our trust is in God. He brought us through. I’m thankful to Him and to all our friends and family who prayed for us and with us during those days of uncertainty. And I’m thankful for that unknown woman in the ACFW prayer room. It’s possible she was there praying for herself, but God used her as a vessel–a conduit. The sweetness spilled over onto me. God’s presence stayed with me through a very difficult time.

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Are You Ready for the Unexpected?

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens

E.M. Bounds/Prayer--MemeI had no post last week! That’s because last week held the unexpected for me. But God is never surprised. In fact, I’d been warned. I had that “niggling feeling” inside. You know the one– it lets you know–something’s coming.

When you’re caught unaware, it’s good to know that you’re ready. You’re prayed up, filled with the presence of God, and able to lean on His presence, draw on His strength.

His word is strong in you. Not the mystical “force” — but God’s Word.

I pray that you have that peace. If you don’t, now’s the time. Something’s coming. Something unexpected, and you’ll need to be ready.

If you want to know where to begin, here’s one of my favorites–Ephesians.

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I’m Going Up Yonder

On By Betty OwensIn Betty Thomason Owens4 Comments

cloud-1044223_1280Going Up Yonder–I used to hear that song all the time. It’s an old song, and when it’s sung right–in four-part harmony–it’s really quite a nice tune. Hearing it now always makes me think of the elderly saints in the old Pentecostal church down South. They’d lived a difficult life, scraped in the dust to grow enough food to feed their family, worked hard in hot, dusty fields and factories.

tree-981183_1280Life was hard. Their view of heaven kept them going. They dreamed about “up yonder” because it gave them hope. It got them out of bed in the morning.

Many of the old gospel songs spoke of Heaven and the life beyond this one, for that very reason. Life was hard. Death came all too often, sneaking up and snatching away their loved ones. Not unlike those housewives, visiting the chicken yard on a Saturday morning. They had to have something for dinner of a Sunday.

rooster-1001892_1280I remember watching the scene as my grandma would choose a hen and go after it. All the other chickens would run for their lives. Did they have enough brains to know what they had avoided? Their lives returned to normal after Grandma left the pen, squawking bird in hand. Back to digging in the dirt, looking for bugs and earthworms. Something to fill their bellies, thus calming their fears.

Isn’t there more to life than this? Back then, I couldn’t wait to get back home where life was a little easier. We had indoor plumbing and air conditioning. Chicken came from the meat department of the local grocery. We picked fruit and vegetables from the bins in the produce department. Mom didn’t work in a hot, dusty factory. She sat at a desk in an air-conditioned office. Dad didn’t plow in the field, he got in the car and drove to his next appointment, selling insurance policies.

The experiences gained from life on the farm made me grateful for what I had. Happy to clean the sink and bathtub when it was my turn. I liked the aroma of chicken cooking without having to smell the bleed-out beforehand. I didn’t want to think about the living, breathing creature with eyes that held terror in its last moments. I just wanted to sink my teeth into the moist, tender meat that Mom put on the table.

Grandma, Granny, and Aunt Lona
Grandma, Granny, and Aunt Lona (left to right)

Granny stood among those old saints who sang about going up yonder, way beyond the blue. Life in heaven someday was what they lived for. And she was determined to go there and take her entire family with her. Aunt Jen used to tell me about spending the night at Granny’s house when she (Aunt Jen) was a girl. At night, when all the lights were out and everyone was headed for sleep, Granny would lay upon her bed and pray. She’d call out the names of all of her children and grandchildren–Aunt Jen was one of those. I suspect later on, my name was brought up on a nightly basis, as one of the great-grands.

This was a way of life for Granny. A way to get from one day to the next. Speaking over her children and believing God that each one would live and not die. And that each one would live for Jesus. Granny lived to 96 years old. Many of her children and grandchildren, greats and great-greats were and are believers in the Savior, Jesus Christ. Her children and some of her grandchildren have all passed on now, but for the most part, they lived good, long lives.

childrenpolaroidI’m thankful for a granny who prayed and wrestled heaven and earth for her family. A hard-working, hard-praying woman who lost most of her sight as a girl, but kept right on. She even pieced and quilted almost up to the end, keeping her hands busy and mind occupied. No doubt her prayers accompanied the stitches she made.

Now I’m a grandmother. My children and grandchildren are the subjects of my daily prayers and I hope to pass on the faith that is a vital part of my life. The reason my forebears didn’t give up–the hope that got them out of bed in the morning–stirs in my heart each new day. I hope and pray that you’ve found that purpose in your life as well. If not, I hope you’ll take the time to find it.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”–1 John 1:9 NIV

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV

7caa5-0416131633Did you, or do you have parents or grandparents who pray(ed) for you? Have my memories sparked a few of your own? I’d love to hear them. I hope you’ll leave one or two of them in the comment section below. Happy Spring!

Even If

On By Betty OwensIn devotional, testimonial

By Amanda Tru

Amanda headshotDon’t you love stories of miracles and how God answers prayer? If that’s the type of article you are looking for, I must apologize because this is not that. In my life, I seem to get a lot less of the miracles and a lot more of God answering not in the way I want, His silence, or His flat ‘no’s’.

So, what do you do when God doesn’t answer your prayers?

Not the Right Answer

A few years ago, my husband hurt his back to the point that he couldn’t work and could barely move. We were praying for him to be healed, but the prospects didn’t look good medically-speaking. No treatment came with any kind of guarantee. After multiple doctors and physical therapists, it looked like his best option was surgery—not exactly the answer we were looking for. However, seeing it as his only medical option, he had the surgery. Before he made it out of the hospital, the disc in his back re-herniated, with this time being worse than the first. Two weeks later, he underwent a second back surgery.

Throughout this experience, came the questions: Even if my prayer for my husband’s healing wasn’t answered the way I want it to be… Even if he isn’t able to work… Even if that vow ‘for better or worse,’ has a lot more of the worse than the better… Will that make a difference in my faith? Will I still believe?

God’s Silence

bubble-806972_1280After a very difficult year, my husband and I sold our house. The problem was that it sold faster than we anticipated, and we didn’t have anywhere to move to. We found a house that we loved, we prayed about it and felt that this was the house God had for us. Then we put an offer on it, and it was rejected. Suddenly, we were very confused. We had really thought this was our house, so why hadn’t things worked out? Shouldn’t God had paved the way for our footsteps if He was directing?

A common idea is that God’s will is a smooth path lined with roses, when in the Bible, there are countless examples of the opposite. While I struggled with this idea, I also wanted a “for sure” answer. So I prayed and prayed. And fasted. And prayed some more. I wasn’t praying that we’d get the house. I was praying that God would in some way answer—that He would speak in a clear way that let us know what direction we should go. I agonized. I begged. I just needed something from Him.

And what I got…. was nothing. Seriously, you could have heard crickets chirping in the vast void of God’s silence.

And I was a little ticked. I mean, it didn’t seem like a big request to have the God of the universe blink once for ‘yes,’ and twice for ‘no.’

It may not seem a big faith test, but it was. And I was again faced with the question. Even if God stayed on mute and didn’t ever answer my question, would that make a difference in my faith—would I still believe?

God’s No

Last Fall, I was expecting our fourth child. We’d had a nightmarish year that had included my husband’s diagnosis, surgery, and treatment of thryroid cancer, unexpected hospital stays for our children, and unbelievable ‘bad luck.’ But now, with a baby on the way, we were so very excited that something good was going to happen!

But at twelve weeks, I started to lose the baby. I lay in bed in excruciating pain and begged God to let my baby live.

How would I explain to my three other children that they weren’t going to have a baby? How would I handle it, knowing my sister, who also was pregnant and due at the same time, got to keep her baby and I didn’t? What if this was it, and I never had another baby? I love my three boys to an indescribable degree, but I’ve always had the dream of a daughter. What if God never granted that desire?

And through all the questions and pain whirling through my mind, came the question… Even if?

Even if my baby died. Even if all of those questions were answered with God’s ‘no,’ would that make a difference in my faith—would I still believe?

Even if…

No.

mourning-360500_1280The answer to all of the questions is ‘no.’ Even if my prayers are not answered in the way I want. Even if all I hear is God’s silence. Even if He says ‘no,’ lets my baby die, and never gives me another…

It will not make a difference in my faith. I will still believe. Even if.

Why? Because my personal experience does not change who God is. His existence is not determined by if e answers my prayers. In fact, His existence is not determined by me or whether or not I believe.

It’s kind of like how a baby discovers object permanence. Does an object exist even if I can’t see it? Even if my worst nightmare comes true and He doesn’t answer the way I want, even if I can’t see Him, even if He tells me ‘no,’ that doesn’t change who He is. I believe, not because of my experience, but because He is.

I believe He is still there, I believe He is still good (Psalm 100:5), and I believe He has a plan for my life (Psalm 139, Romans 8:28), whether or not I can hear or see it at an individual moment. Why? Because His Word tells me those things about Him, and I have to believe object permanence applies to God too.Even if I can’t see those things at a given time, that in no way determines their existence.

I think we don’t get the “right” answer a lot in regards to health issues. Instead of the healing we pray for, we get surgery or medical treatment. And sometimes we just get strength to make it through the day. In regards to my husband, he recovered well from the second surgery, though it is unlikely the nerve damage will ever be completely repaired. Thankfully, he was able to eventually return to work and life settled into a resemblance of normal.

In this instance, unlike many of the others in my life, I was able to see a glimpse of God’s purpose behind His seeming inadequate answer. During the time that my husband was hurt, I wrote and published my first book. Had I not had the stressful question of not knowing if he would ever work again, I might not have ever had the motivation to do what I love and what has become a wonderful career. Fourteen books later, I am beyond thankful that I get to share exciting stories of unique characters that somehow manage to echo my own walk with God.

We bought the house. It was not easy. At no time did we ever feel the certain answer we desired, but we made the wisest decision we could. We paid more than our initial offer, and there was no shortage of stress and drama, but we eventually had an offer accepted.

It still seems like God could have eased my anxiety some and just given me an answer. But I’ve come to realize my peace of mind might have been a small price to pay for a silence that might somehow build my faith. If we were already on the path of His Will, why would He need to confirm that? Instead, I lived out an ‘even if,’ and realized that in God’s silence, I still believe.

Our baby died. It was a nightmare that I still cannot think about without crying. After the horrible pain of miscarriage and surgery, I was left completely empty, experiencing an ‘even if’ I would never wish on anyone. God said ‘no.’

Nine months later, my arms are still empty and there is little hope that they will be filled again. And yet, God’s ‘no’ doesn’t change that even in this, I still believe.

Prayers are often not answered, and more often than not, we don’t know the reason why this side of heaven. But the bad things that happen don’t change who God is. I don’t know why some things happen, but I do know God is good and He has a purpose in all my even ifs.

Everyone has struggles. No one gets through life unscathed. For those of you who are living through an ‘even if,’ take heart: God still is. He loves you and has a purpose for you and all your tears. So I pose a question to you: Even if… ?

For me, my even ifs have not made a difference in my faith, but my prayer is that they will make a difference in yours.

FigTreesThough the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habukuk 3:17-19

Author Bio

AMANDA TRU loves to write exciting books with plenty of unexpected twists. She figures she loses so much sleep writing the things, it’s only fair she makes readers lose sleep with books they can’t put down!

Amanda has always loved reading, and writing books has been a lifelong dream. A vivid imagination helps her write captivating stories in a wide variety of genres. Her current book list includes everything from holiday romances, to action-packed suspense, to a Christian time travel / romance series.

Amanda is a former elementary school teacher who now spends her days being mommy to three little boys and her nights furiously writing. Amanda and her family live in a small Idaho town where the number of cows outnumber the number of people.

ys1_9781939603722_cover-300Her yesterday was five years ago. What will her tomorrow bring?

When Hannah Kraeger saves a family injured in a car accident, she has no idea she has changed events in the past. Waking the next morning, Hannah discovers her yesterday was really five years ago.

Each trip Hannah takes through time changes the timeline and her own life. With help from Dr. Seth McAllister, Hannah must unravel the mystery of why she time travels and who she actually is before the strange ability costs her future, the man she loves, and even her life.

YESTERDAY is a thrilling Christian Romantic Suspense filled with unexpected twists, mystery, and romance.

YESTERDAY is Book One in the YESTERDAY SERIES.

Click here for more information and to buy the book.