I Speak the Language


“Ah can do south.” I drawled out the words, giving south two syllables, as it was meant to be spoken. I was responding to a comment that my accent was not so prevalent. (Sorry about the rhymes, it was an accident.)


Originally from West Tennessee, I spent the last…ah…few years in Louisville, Kentucky. My first day here, Bobby Kennedy was shot. You do the math.


I tend to match the speech of those I am with. My mother was a Northwesterner who married a Southern good ole boy and for a few years, our family bounced back and forth between Southern California and West Tennessee, so you could say I grew up “accent challenged.”


When I break out into Southern Drawl around my friends from Kentucky, it never fails to get at least a chuckle, but when I go home to West Tennessee, no one notices my speech. If you live in Louisville—pronounced Loo-uh-vul by the way—you hear it all. You can usually tell what part of Kentucky someone hails from, just by listening to them talk. Eastern Kentuckians, for instance, have a very distinctive accent.


I remember my first experience with the “native tongue” of Kentucky, when I overheard two neighbors talking about turning farty. Sounds like a bad word, but they were actually talking about the number that follows thirty-nine. It didn’t take long for me to settle in. Far miles down the road meant that something was 4 miles away. 1425 Elmwood Court was far-teen twenty-five Elmwood Cart. A small amount of translation was all it took.


When translating local colloquialisms to the written page, I tend to run into trouble. I like to know how a character pronounces words, but an editor usually doesn’t like to see it.


“Ah was comin’ acrost the Miz-sippy Rivah on a Sad-dy afternoon”, is a little difficult to read. It reads more easily as, “I was coming across the Mississippi River on a Saturday afternoon.” You still get the feel of the southern accent, but without all the interruptions.


Feelin’ fair t’ middlin’, Feeling fair to middling. Use colloquialisms with correct spelling and the reader doesn’t stumble, but they get the idea.


If it causes the tongue to stumble, or slows down the reader, it is usually unacceptable. A fellow writer and excellent teacher gave me very good advice. Limit the accent to the first time or two the character speaks and then let the reader take over. If you keep the same speech pattern, without supplying all those accents and broken words, the reader is aware of the difference and it makes for a smoother read.


There are definite exceptions to this rule. I can’t imagine reading the Grapes of Wrath any other way, but I guess if you are on par with Hemingway, you can get away with most anything.

What to Do When the Oil Runs Out


Jesus told a parable about ten virgins waiting for the return of the bridegroom. Five of them were smart enough to keep their lamps filled with oil, so they would be ready to go at a moment’s notice. The other five weren’t so well prepared. When the wait grew long, the 5 silly ladies let themselves go. The oil ran low, but they just knew they’d have time to get them filled before it was too late.

The bridegroom returned, without calling first to warn them! The 5 well prepared young ladies were ready to go, but the others had to run to the supermarket to buy oil and fill their lamps. By the time they returned, the jet was leaving the runway. They stood there in shock for a moment and then they…
All right, maybe that’s not exactly how it went, but you get the idea. I was worried about this. How can I be certain I will be ready when the bridegroom returns? Just how do you keep your lamp filled with oil? Do we break our necks doing service? Spend hours in prayer?
Service is good and prayer is good. These things help us keep busy and focused in the interim, but they are not really the answer. Of course this is just my opinion, but I know how I feel after a time of worship and praise. Uplifted, joyous, filled. Throw in some quality time just talking with the Father and studying the Book He left for us and I think we’re pretty much done.
Matthew 25: 1-13 The Parable of the Foolish Virgins

Who’s That Guy

—and Where’d He Learn That?

Ah, Facebook. I’d heard about it, but I never expected what I found there. I’m getting to know my kids! Grown, and living on their own, my guys are busy creatures. We would sometimes go for days and even weeks without hearing a word from them. Now, I have only to log onto Facebook, and there they are!


One of my sons has a bright sense of humor and a real way with words. Amazing! He keeps us in stitches. Each one is gifted in his own way, but all three have the signature good humor.

Another benefit–we get instant news about the grandchildren, successful job hunts, the latest pictures and videos. I’m starting to like this a lot, except I tend to spend way too much time there, tapping away the minutes.

Warning: It’s as if you’re in a big conversation and everyone in the room can hear what you’re saying. You have to be more careful what you say. Yes, that’s something you pick up rather quickly. It only takes one misspeak to set off a flurry of comments. Oops!

Tips for a Happy Marriage

I went to a wedding shower the other day. It brought back fond memories of my wedding shower, where I received index cards with tips for a happy marriage written on them. Of course there were the usual ones, the common sense ones and the ones that read like the proverbs of Solomon.


Here are a few that I found helpful:

  • Don’t spend too much time together.
  • Spend as much time together as possible.
  • Be your own person.
  • Submit yourself to him. He is your master.

Well, maybe not so much, but here are some I really did like:

  • Laugh. A lot.
  • Never stop dating.
  • Make him think he’s special.

And then I added one:

  • When there’s something you really want to do, make him think it’s his idea.

So, what’s the secret to a long and happy marriage? There are no set rules, because everyone is different. But faithfulness, love, kindness, honor, interest, desire, those are all good words…and humor helps. Laugh—a lot!